I am an American who immigrated to Sweden. I have lived in Sweden for nearly 7 years, but I am still not fluent in the Swedish language. We just moved a few months ago from the big city of Stockholm to a little town called Herräng. My husband and I are swing dancers, having met on the dance floor, and have spent time in previous summers coming to Herräng Dance Camp, an international swing dance camp. Now we came to make our home here.
Living in Stockholm was a catch-22. I wanted to learn Swedish but was rarely forced to use the vocabulary I knew. A majority of the time, I could get by with English. And balancing work and taking care of my child made it difficult to take Swedish classes. I have learned that I don’t absorb languages very well just from listening and imitating. So, I have slowly taken classes here and there and continue to listen as my child gets older and speaks more and more. I can now understand nearly all basic conversations, but when people get into more detailed subjects, I get lost. The challenge is to balance not feeling totally isolated when everyone is speaking only in Swedish and to also push myself to speak more so that I keep learning and adding new words to my vocabulary faster.
When people made fun of my accent or my use of words, I would get stuck and not want to speak as much. But, then I would get comments like, “Oh you Americans. You only speak English and think you don’t need to learn our language.” (Actually, I do think I need to learn Swedish and I do want to learn Swedish, it’s just been hard to juggle with everything else.) When applying for one job, I had someone tell me, “Oh we had one of your compatriates, an American guy, who worked for us, and the students never knew about a concert because he couldn’t communicate fluently in Swedish. I can see your resume and how well qualified you are for this job, but this is never going to work.” (That was the one time I applied that they actually called me. Other times I applied for orchestra jobs and without fluent Swedish, I couldn’t even get an interview.)
So, when I moved to a smaller town, now suddenly the preschool teachers can understand English but are not comfortable speaking English with me, so they speak in Swedish to me and I blend Swedish and English talking to them. I get overwhelmed when my entire interactions are all in Swedish and no one is helping me to get better, just judging my skills.
I had an insight the other day that one of the reasons I don’t want to always speak in Swedish is that I crave being able to be fully part of the conversation. I love in-depth discussions and topics much more than idle chit-chat. But, when speaking in Swedish, my topics and ability to discuss are quite limited. So, when I know someone speaks English, I sometimes switch languages so that I can better express myself. And sometimes it’s simply because I crave hearing my native language spoken. It’s lonely when you are not fluent in the surrounding language and sometimes just that sound of your native tongue makes you feel for a moment that you truly, wholly, absolutely belong. When I am talking with only one other person, it is much easier to try to take it all in Swedish because then I can stop and ask questions if I don’t understand. But, when we even have 3 people in the conversation and everyone else is Swedish, I can’t keep up. I go between fully understanding some things and then topics change and I have no idea what anyone is talking about. And in a group conversation, it is much more challenging to stop and ask what one word or phrase means.
“You are in Sweden now. You should only speak Swedish.” Some have said to me, but I will not. I will always want to use English with my family and this is a good thing for my child to grow up with two languages that they can easily float between. It means that it will take longer for me to become fluent in Swedish, but it also means that I can communicate and be understood.
So, if you are living in the country where you grew up speaking the main language and you want to help others. What can you do to make a difference?
- Speak Clearly and Slowly -Speak clearly and slower than you normally would. Everyone when speaking their mother tongue tends to speak faster and some language speakers do this as part of the culture. When you are talking to a non-native speaker, slow down. Take a pause between your thoughts. Check for body language to see if they are understanding you. If you see a glazed look in the eye — stop and ask if they understand. It’s very easy as an intermediate language learner to feel like you don’t want to slow the conversation down too much, so you might not ask for help when you really do need help clarifying meaning. See if you can repeat yourself in a more simple way or use different words. I found that often there was one way I was taught something in the language class, but many phrases have multiple ways to be expressed and at first I couldn’t understand unless the exact phrase I had learned was used.
2. Ask about language preference -If you speak someone’s mother tongue- offer to switch languages. But if they are really trying to practice with you, then also be prepared to keep speaking in a simple version of your language. There is nothing more annoying than the days when I muster up my courage to interact in the shops all in Swedish and then everyone simply hears my accent and switches automatically to speaking in English. I would like the option to use my Swedish where I can and ask for help, or the option to switch languages when I know the conversation will be more tricky for me.
3. Don’t critique unless asked and even then do it sparingly. I’ve had lots of people critique me for not speaking more Swedish or not learning faster than I have, but these are usually the same people that aren’t being helpful in the process and so it gets slowed down more.
If you say — would you like a suggestion on a better way to say that? But, many times when we correct grammar, we stop people from talking as much. And as a language learner, the more I speak and interact, the more I hear grammar and language structure and my mistakes often fix themselves.
The most important exercise is to communicate with each other. Help someone if they use a word that doesn’t fit, but if it’s a simple grammar structure that really doesn’t make a difference to the meaning — leave them alone. And when you do correct, do it in a gentle manner — no laughing. We all learn better if we are not ridiculed.
4. Don’t assume it’s easy for everyone to learn. There are so many factors to take into consideration when someone is learning a new language. For me, there are free classes here in Sweden for those of us who are immigrants and it’s still a challenge to get to the classes and make sure my child is taken care of and at the same time try to make an income. For me, I have been juggling child care and owning my own business. I would love nothing more than to have a free schedule and all the money in my bank account to be able to only study Swedish. But, this is not possible for me, and in many countries where language education is costly, it can take a long time to access services. I was devastated when a neighbor here said to me, “But, you have been here for 5 years. Why is your Swedish so bad?” I have attended a year of classes while juggling a newborn baby and breastfeeding. I spent 6 months in free classes where no one ever checked how I was doing or what I needed help with and so my speaking improved during that time, but reading and writing was still a challenge. Then the pandemic hit and I had my child at home. It wasn’t possible to continue at that point. I didn’t want to study completely virtually in my very few free hours to myself. I think of how much more difficult it would be when you are learning a language with a completely different alphabet and writing system. So, I feel grateful that at least English shares a lot in common with Swedish and once I got beyond a basic level, I can start to pick up new words simply because they share a root origin. I have had friends with hearing challenges that make it more difficult to pick up a new language. I actually am someone that loves learning languages and learning about new cultures, so it is painful for me to think that someone believes I don’t care to learn or that I’m not trying. It can’t be farther from the truth.
5. Above all — be kind to each other. Instead of critiquing and complaining that immigrants don’t learn your language and assuming that they don’t care, take time to get to know someone’s story. Help them with the language and try to understand their different accent without constantly complaining about it. Because someone who has an accent is a hero. It means that they have worked to try to communicate in a new language. That they have come to a new land. That they have bravely gone in search of a new home. So, instead of complaining and laughing and making fun of someone because they don’t speak perfectly. Try to listen and learn and help. We will all be better for it.
